Sucked into another Internet argument.

The last couple of days have seen an exchange between myself and a high-school classmate of mine, Richard Draeger, Jr., that verges on embarrasing.

The only reason I've pushed it as far as I have is because he's entertaining the thought of running for public office, and if he's seriously calling for the impeachment of any judge who dares strike down as unconstitutional the anti-gay marriage amendment that brought every last homophobe out to the polls from every last cubbyhole and bureau drawer last November, I'm not just inclined to vote against him, I'm inclined to -run- against him.

And I, as a Christian, still believe that marriage as God ordained it is strictly between one man and one woman. I'm just sensible and civic-minded enough to realize that that has absolutely ZERO to do with what should be enforced by the government. As a Christian, it bothers me that it is the government and not the church that defines "marriage". Go ahead, take your vows in front of the altar, in front of God and all your friends and relations. You ain't legally married until you sign a little piece of paper out in the narthax.

Gays aren't after our altar. They're not after our God or our friends or our relations. They are after that little piece of paper, which I'm content to give them, since it's morally worthless. That piece of paper has all the moral heft of a land covenant, car title, or articles of incorporation for a business. It is a thing of lawyers. It is not a thing of God.

Besides, it's incredibly Christiocentric to think that we invented marriage. People have been tying the knot in a myriad million ways for thousands of years across the globe before our Savior hit the scene. It's not ours, we don't own it, and we should only dictate what it means to our own flock. Meaning, not on the political stage, and for damn sure not down the barrel of a gun.

This is not solely a Christian nation. I don't care what deity you believe in, Jehovah, Allah, Vishnu, Xenu, Cthulhu, or J. R. "Bob" Dobbs. Even if deities ain't your bag, the Constitution protects your rights to free speech, freedom of religion, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Which means, as long as you are not infringing on the rights of others, let your freak flag fly.

You do not have a right to protection from what you percieve as "moral decay". You DO have a right to protection from murder, assault, theft, vandalism, slander, libel, fraud, oppression, and genocide. Which is pretty good, really, considering the world at large. Your right to say what you want, think what you want, and for the most part, do what you want is the most unique and precious thing about this country, and I won't see it eroded in the name of my God or any other.

At any rate, it's a bit bizarre for me to be as invested in this as I am, considering that, for me, heterosexual sex is still as abstract a construct as homosexual sex and the concept of romantic love is nothing more than a pleasant but remote fantasy with precious little bearing on my day to day life. In fact, I'm keener on repealing the income tax and legalizing drugs than I am on really getting my hands dirty over the whole gay marriage issue. Still, the same libertarian principles are at play here, and when it comes right down to it, the legal definition of marriage has nothing to do with sex or love. It's about money, and it's depressing to see the lengths to which our government will go to keep the incomes of a very, very, very small minority taxed individually instead of jointly.

To change minds you must persuade, not coerce. You must entice, never dictate. Without exception, government = coercive force; meaning, if you don't obey, ultimately men with guns come and make you obey.

Coercive force being what it is, I find government wholly unsuited as an instrument for the promotion of morality. The easiest way to make someone want something is to tell them they cannot have it, and vice versa. All the laws in the world will never make human nature go away. The nice thing about America is that we can legally profit from human nature.

I'm an American. I want everything all the time. I want to see people free to do A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G they want to as long as it's not harming others. Yes, I enjoy chaos. Yes, I want to walk down my street and salute the guy painting his house chartreuse just to annoy the neighbors. That's beautiful. That's American, goddammit, and the entire consumer engine of this country is built on impulse purchases and the commodification of rebelliousness. You want it because you can get it. You want it because YOU WANT IT. Because -YOU- want it, you should get it. Because you -WANT- it, you should get it. And all at a discount price, because you are an American. And I like to see this freedom equally applied. If the choice is deny or allow, allow! If the choice is do or not do, do! If not, you are standing in the way of social efficiency, man. People could be doing something, but aren't, because of you. How the HELL could you sleep at night like that.

I am openly calling for all of you, my friends, to become enablers for the wacky lunatic extremes made possible by the freedoms supposedly guaranteed by this country. If we don't stand up for the freaks, one day they will be gone, and we'll all be eating at T.G.I. Friday's drinking pisswater beer and listening to Top 40 radio.

Radicals of whatever stripe are the first and last line of defense against mediocrity and stagnation.